There is a moment of joy. You have a sense of ease, contentment, accomplishment, or maybe peace. There is a moment of feeling free and balanced. And then a thought comes, a sense of dis-ease, a shadow, or a fear. It may be a clear thought or it may just be a feeling, tension in your heart or shoulders, but that previous moment of balance and ease has shifted. Have you ever not been able to celebrate an accomplishment because your brain goes to “what next” or “don’t get too excited”? Or have you been in a moment of laughter and joy and then a sense of dread washes over you? There you are sitting, waiting, trying to figure out the location of that other shoe that is getting ready to drop.
Where does this come from? Is it from past situations that have sucker punched you out of joy? Is it a practice learned from an anxious parent? Is it a way to protect yourself from getting hurt or a long-established pattern you have set up to try to control your life? Does it stem from a history of trauma? Whatever the reason for this pattern, it can greatly impact our lives. It most likely had a purpose for a long time to keep you safe but now it effects your ability to love, grow, trust, and to be fully present. It can keep you feeling small and trapped by circumstance and in a state of fear and angst.
I had a wise woman once say to me, “you know there is no other shoe, right?” Did I? I think until that point I was always feeling the weight of that shoe in most areas of my life. So I began to explore this pattern and the impact it had on my life. I began with noticing. What took me out of the moment? Was my body tensing up and, if so, where? What were my thoughts? This helped me become aware of when I was doing it and what it looked like for me. And one thing I noticed is that I quickly left feeling the emotions of peace, joy, and love due to the fear that these emotions will not last and it would lead to pain. This allowed me to put into action techniques that helped me be in the moment and these eased patterns of anxiety and fear. In the moments of the shifts from joy to dread, I recognized what was happening and it helped to take a moment to breathe and remind myself of the accomplishment, the fun moment that I was having, and the lightness of having a sense of peace. The deep breaths helped me to connect more with myself, whomever I was with, and my feelings in the moment. These actions helped me be more present with the situation and to choose love over fear, peace over anxiety.
Take a pause when you are at peace.. what do you feel and where?
Notice when you are laughing… what do you feel and where? Take a deep breathe when you are connecting with someone.. what do you feel and where?
By noticing, reinforcing, and appreciating these feelings of love, connection, peace, accomplishment, and joy, you can grow them.
In addition, I have found that an essential way to allow myself to access a full spectrum of feelings and not have them flip into permanent emotional states, is having a gratitude practice. Gratitude allows me to experience present moment appreciation and shift my distressing thoughts. When you are recognizing things you are grateful for, take a moment and, just like above, notice what you are feeling and where you are feeling it. Being present with the thoughts and feelings of gratitude will deepen the impact. And if all of this is hard, and you can’t seem to shift that negativity cloud that rains on your accomplishments or peace, then you may want to seek help with a therapist. Feel free to contact us at Enlightened Vibrations for help today.